Ant and Grasshopper

Ant and Grosshopper - 

Indian Version of story - too good and fact

Original Story: 

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and
well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the
cold.

Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .
Mayawati states this as 'injustice' done on Minorities.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven & Everlasting Peace for prompt support
as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .
Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in
the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.
Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism Against
Grasshoppers Act'[POTAGA] , with effect from the beginning of the winter..
Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions in Government Services.
The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, BBC, CNN.
Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.
Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.
CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley ,
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
in India ,
....AND
As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...!!

A Thriller Story!!!

A Thriller Story!!!

The Bus Conductor

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also, to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his

injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

Still couldn't? Then see below.........

Think hard

C'mon .............

Tired....?

Wanna know the answer????

Ok........ here is the Answer............

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!!

Don't curse me!! I am also looking for the guy who drafted this in our blog... and for the Banana Peel, someone must have removed it by now, don't bother..

I thought you were bringing her back

I thought you were bringing her back

A senior citizen bought a brand new BMW Z4 convertible and drove it outofthe salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 120mph;enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M4, enjoying pushing the pedal tothe metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police carbehind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as hefloored it to 140mph, then 150 then 160. Suddenly, he thought, "What onearth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to theside of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver's side of theBMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me areason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old man, looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, "Years agomy wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."
."Have a good day, Sir", said the policeman

Men are Honest

Men are Honest


"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked..

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with AISHWARYA RAI. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others...

The Universal law for LOVE

The Universal law for LOVE:

"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transferred from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money."

First Law:
"A Boy in love with A Girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."

Second Law:
" The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."

Third Law:
"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals."

9 Deadly Words Used By A Woman

 9 Deadly Words Used By A Woman

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3. 

'I'm too smart for the first-grade

'I'm too smart for the first-grade

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his

Questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Boy.: '9'.

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Boy.: '36'.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.

Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'

Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'

Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,

Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..

Boy.: Shake hands

Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to

IIM AHMEDABAD (Indian Institute Of Management)

I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'

How to recruit the right person for the right job?

How to recruit the right person for the right job?

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.  Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave  them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the
situation.

If they are counting the bricks.

Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them.

Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering. 

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.

Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

If they have  broken the bricks into pieces.

Put them in information technology. 

 

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
 

If they have already left for the day.

Put them in marketing.
 

If they are staring out of the window.

Put them on strategic  planning.

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management. 

How long

How long

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left.A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'The guy left.A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.  
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,'Your house!' =D =))

Confusion

Confusion

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"

Father: That's great son. Who is she?

Son: It's Sandra, d neighbour's daughter.

Father: Ohhh I wish u hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son,

but u must promise?not?to tell ur mother. Sandra is actually ur sister.

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...

Son: Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!

Father: That's great son. Who is she?

Son: It's Angela, d other neighbour's daughter.

Father: Ohhhh I wish u hadn't said that. Angela is also ur sister.

This went on couple of times n d son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date

any of them because dad is their father!

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, u can date whoever u want. He isn't your father =))

Fried Eggs

Fried Eggs 

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

The Golden Saloon

The Golden Saloon

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands. "At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden."

"Bullshit! There's no such place!"

Guy says, "Sure there is! It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story. "Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone. "Yes it is," bartender answers.

"Do you have huge golden doors?" "Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?" "Most certainly do." "What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!" 

Appraisal and Resignation

Appraisal and Resignation

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"


Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "


Trainee: "Yes I do"


Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"


Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation


In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.


In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.


In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.


In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.


During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.


During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.


There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.


There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.


Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"

Life Still Has Meaning

Life Still Has Meaning

If there is a future there is time for mending, Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.

Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow, If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.

If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping-When through doubt and darkness

you are blindly groping.

Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling, If there is time for praying

there is time for healing.

So if through your window there is a new day breaking, Thank God for the promise,

though mind and soul be aching,

If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning, There is a new tomorrow

and life still has meaning.

Love Resume.

Love Resume.


Confidential

Personal Particular
Name : xiaoqiang ( not real name)
Age : 25
Sex : ermmm... haven't had it till now.
Marital Status : Single
Nationality : Nation
Date of Birth : five Days after valentines’ day


Objective:
Boyfriend position with an interesting, attractive, 20-25 year old lady in present place that will build on prior success as a single bachelor and a long term boyfriend..


Summary:
- Will love you with all my heart
- Very outgoing, energetic and ambitious
- Very loving
- Tendency to freak out and need consoling
- Likes running
- Might be slow to trust again
- Has the tendency to think that hot girls are @#$%^


Experience:


Tall average girl (2 year)
dated in 2006
- met in met in family function; we were friends for about a year or so before we started dating
- taught me to kiss
- easy breakup when I moved across the country for job, still contact each other every once in a while


Sweet girl (3.5 year)
dated in 2009
- met in gtalk
- my first long distance relationship: she was in india for most of our relationship
- fit my template of the perfect gal: was in honours business managment, good looking and good dancer
- turned out to be a busy while trying to contact, haven't talked since last 3 mothis


Other Experience
- had bad crush on gal in high school I dint dared to proposed her
- proposed girl in Pri-university n get rejected
-proposed good looking sweet classmate in college and rejected
- had many crush with batch mats and juniors dint get a chance
- proposed girl from pri-university when I was in college and get rejected
- proposed girl who I daily saw in canteen trough my friend almost accepted got threats to her from her brother and parents, she dint came college for a week and I left her
-got proposal from my friends friend but dint accepted, coz I want her to be friend


Education:
The School of Life, Class of Today
- working in a company and Concentrating on Myself with a minor in Relaxing
- honours degrees in Ambition, Stress and Perfectionism

I Promise To... 
- Be there when you need me
- Forgive your small mistakes and expect you to forgive mine
- Need you sometimes
- Not try to change you
- Take care of myself so you don't have to
- Try not to freak out too much
- Be empathetic
- Try to understand your feelings
- Listen to you
- Love you

Interests and Hobbies
. Blogging
. Surfing
. Chatting

Description:
I am a strong, independent, confident, intelligent man w/ a good head on his shoulders. Can be loud and emotional at times. Very passionate person. Can be somewhat flirtatious and sexual. Funny and sensitive, will hold you tight and let you know everything will be alright. Enjoys music, writing, and cooking. Self taught artist. Athletically gifted, excels/excelled at football, basketball, cricket and swimming. Former power lifter. College bound w/ interest in majoring in Exercise Science. Would love to play music and djing; and I have a job.

References will only be available after we become acquainted.
Would like to become yours                                                               Date :17/02/12
xiaoqiang ( not real name again)                                                         Place : Present Place

YOU live only once

  An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

Advertisement love letter to GIRL friend

Advertisement love letter to GIRL friend 



My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek  chand  ka  tukda) , you are my  TVS SCOOTY
(first love) and my AIWA (pure passion) .  I always BPL (believe in the best) and
you are SANSUI (better than the best) . You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (delivering a million
 smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (seriously fresh) feeling for me.
I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father  who is
KAWASAKI   BAJAJ!   CALIBE! R (the unshakable) and my  father who is CEAT (born tough) ,
 but don't  worry  as  I  am also FORD   ICON (The josh machine) and rest of our family
members  are pretty  KELVINATORS (the coolest ones) . If our  fathers  say  no, 
we will run away and marry, and PHILIPS (let's make things better) .

They  will  feel  MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA-COLA  (
Jo  chahe ho jaye) . Trust in God who's always NOKIA (connecting people) who
love each other. And do not forget that we are WILLS (made for each other).  Now t
hat HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY
MILK (real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (fun  fast easy) and PARX  (always comfortable) .
So never forget me. Ok bye!

I wrote little but actually PEPSI (yeh dil mange more)!!.

Yours
LG (digitally yours).

Funny Definitions

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.



Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.



Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.



Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.



Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.



Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.



Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.



Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.



Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.



Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.



Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.



Father : A banker provided by nature.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"



Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.



Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.



Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.



Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."



Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.



Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.



Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.



Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.


One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ),


He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.


As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."


She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.


The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said " Yes."


The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give


Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"


The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !"So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!




Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends , it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

10 Years From Now

10 Years From Now

I don’t like thinking too much about the future, after all we can only live in the present moment, and thus we should focus on that. But there’s something that I’m thinking more and more lately, and that’s helping me to get a lot of motivation.

It all started with a quote, and it developed in a more general way of thinking.

“Ten years from now, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do, not the ones you did.”

That’s definitely true. I don’t regret the past for the things I did, indeed I would repeat everything I’d have the chance, but I certainly wouldn’t mind having pushed my boundaries further.

Whenever I think about this, I realize how many opportunities we waste by occupying our mind with the wrong things.

I want you to do a simple test, it won’t take you more than a few minutes, and I think it’s very worth your time. Take some paper and write down 10 things you were worried about yesterday. Don’t think too much about them, just write down quickly what’s coming to mind. Got them? Good. Now take a look at them, chances are that one or two of those are something that’s already solved, or something that didn’t matter at all. Now do the same test, but this time try to remember 10 things you were worried one year ago. Chances are that you’re having an hard time remembering about them.

The truth is that we constantly fill our mind with beliefs that are simply not true, or that don’t matter at all. By constantly thinking about the past and the future we are giving up liberty and creating stress. We are thinking too much. It seems odd at first, but the only way that you’ll be proud of yourself ten years from now is to stop thinking about time and to start focusing on the now.

Now is the only time where you can make a difference, where your thoughts are clear, and where everything matters. What happened 1 minute ago is gone, as projecting the future is pure fantasy. Sure, you can always plan based on your previous experiences and with some output in mind, but you can only accomplish your goals by focusing on the present moment. Now, not tomorrow.

I want you to go back for one second on the first list you previously wrote. Now scroll down each item and ask yourself: “Does this really matter in the present moment?”. Problems don’t exist in the present moment, nor do feelings. The present moment is a gift you have, and you can decide wherever to enjoy it, or ignore it by projecting into the past and the future.

But how do you deal with problems? After all life is full of challenges. The simple answer is that you don’t. If a problem doesn’t matter in the present moment then it doesn’t exist. The moment you really have to deal with it (if at all), you give it full attention and then you return on your own things.

But wont you stop to grow that way? No. I do have goals I want to accomplish this month and this year. But I have to work on them now in order to achieve them. Tomorrow will never come.

Even when you work for someone else, there’s a chance that you don’t really enjoy what you’re doing. But if you focus on the now you’ll find it easier to get things done. And if you get things done and you enjoy it (you will if you focus on the now), you’ll be more happy, you’re boss will notice your progress, and you’ll enter into a snowball of positive changes.

So let’s get back to 10 years from now. I sincerely don’t know wherever I’ll still be alive by then, and who I’ll be. But I know one thing for sure, and that’s I would want to have lived my life to the fullest by then, and I can only achieve that by living my life now.

Live your life to the fullest. Now…..