The Award-Winning Corn

The Award-Winning Corn

There was a farmer who grew superior

 quality and award-winning corn.

Each year he entered his corn in the state

fair where it won honour and prizes.

One year a newspaper reporter

 interviewed  him and learnt something

 interesting about  how he grew it.

The reporter discovered that the farmer

shared his seed corn with his neighbours'.

"How can you afford to share your

 best seed corn with your neighbours

when they are entering corn in competition

 with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir, "said the farmer, "didn't you know?

 The wind picks up pollen from the ripening

 corn and swirls it from field to field.

  If my neighbours grow inferior,

sub-standard and poor quality corn,

 cross-pollination  will steadily degrade

 the quality of my corn.

If I am to grow good corn, I must

help my neighbours grow good corn."

The farmer gave a superb insight into

 the connectedness of life.

His corn cannot improve unless

his neighbour's corn also improves.

 So it is in the other dimensions!

Those who choose to be at harmony

 must help their neighbours and

colleagues to be at peace.

Those who choose to live well must

 help others to live well.

The value of a life is

measured by the lives it touches.

Insight into Decision Making ....

Insight into Decision Making ....

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the  rest on the operational track. 

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?  

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make........ ........ 

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Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?


Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.


The great critic Leo Velski Julian as well as Sourav who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens.. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.


While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be   made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one. 

'Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right.'

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.  

The Husband Store

The Husband Store

 A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman
 may go to choose a husband from among many men. The
 store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive
 attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

 There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may
 choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
 back down except to exit the building.

 So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

 On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
 The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better
 than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?"

 So up she goes.

 The second floor sign reads:

 Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
 The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's
 further up?" And up she goes again.

 The third floor sign reads:

 Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good
 looking. "Hmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

 The fourth floor sign reads:

 Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking
 and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very
 tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up
 another flight.

 The fifth floor sign reads:

 Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking,
 help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy
 me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to
 the sixth floor she goes.

 The sixth floor sign reads:

 Floor 6 - You a re visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no
 men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
 impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and
 have a nice day 

My wife left me...

My wife left me...

I don't understand.  After we retired, she told me we had to cut back on expenses and I had to give up drinking beer.  I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12 pack on weekends.   

Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day, when she came home from grocery shopping, I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup.  I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"  

She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"  

I don't think she'll be back...

Living in the 21st Century

Living in the 21st Century

You know you are living in the 21st Century when:

A. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do not have e-mail. 

B. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 

C. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver. 

D. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. 

E. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen. 

F. You buy a computer and 3 months later it's out of date and sells for half the price you paid. 

G. Leaving the house without your cell phone is a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it. 

H. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning. 

I. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. 

J. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow. 

K. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. 

L. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes. 

M. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. 

N. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls. 

O. You disconnect from the Internet and feel as if you pulled the plug on a loved one. 

P. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. 

Q. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on your way back to bed. 

R. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) 

S. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 

Lost Wife

Lost Wife

        Two old guys are pushing their carts around Home Depot when

they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm

looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to

where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm

looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a

little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other.

What does your wife look like?*

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red

hair, blue eyes, long legs, big tits, and she's wearing tight

white shorts.

What does your wife look like?"

The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

A Really Bad Day

You all may know this joke but still it will bring little smile on your face that's what i need now..

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

DAMN NEXT TIME CHECK WHAT UR DRINKING................

LOVE IS..... Something Like that...!!!!!

Try to walk a mile in my shoes

Try to walk a mile in my shoes,

If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour If we could find a way to get inside each other's mind If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego I believe you'd be surprised to see that you'd been blind Walk a mile in my shoes,before you abuse, criticize and accuse Walk a mile in my shoes Well, your whole world you see around you is just a reflection And the law of common says you're gonna reap just what you sow So unless you've lived a life of total perfection, you'd better be careful of every stone that you should throw Yet we spend the day throwin' stones at one another 'cause I don't think or wear my hair same way you do Well, I may be common people but I'm your brother And when you strike out and try to hurt me it's a 'hurtin you, There are people on reservations and out in the ghettos And brother, there, but for the grace of God, go you and I If I only had the wings of little angels don'tcha you know I'd fly To the top of the mountain and then I'd cry? Walk a mile in my shoes, before you abuse, criticize and accuse Better walk a mile in my shoes Walk a mile in my shoes, 


Courtasy: Elvis Presley

Source: http://lyrics-a-plenty.com/w/walk_a_mile_in_my_shoes.lyrics.php

Walk A Mile In My Shoes Joe South and The Believers If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour If we could find a way to get inside each other's mind If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego I believe you'd be surprised to see that you'd been blind Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse Walk a mile in my shoes Well, your whole world you see around you is just a reflection And the law of common says you're gonna reap just what you sow So unless you've lived a life of total perfection Mm-mm, you'd better be careful of every stone that you should throw Yet we spend the day throwin' stones at one another 'cause I don't think or wear my hair same way you do Well, I may be common people but I'm your brother And when you strike out and try to hurt me it's a 'hurtin you, Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse Walk a mile in my shoes There are people on reservations and out in the ghettos And brother, there, but for the grace of God, go you and I If I only had the wings of little angels don'tcha you know I'd fly To the top of the mountain and then I'd cry? Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Hey, before you abuse, criticize and accuse Better walk a mile in my shoes Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Oh, before you abuse, criticize and accuse Walk a mile in my shoes, Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Hey, before you abuse, criticize and accuse Walk a mile in my shoes TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: rather ignominious ending-no two musicians seem to stop at the same time

Source: http://lyrics-a-plenty.com/w/walk_a_mile_in_my_shoes.lyrics.php

Tomorrow can be TOO LATE.

Tomorrow can be TOO LATE.

If you're mad with someone, and nobody's there to fix the situation...
You fix it .
Maybe today, that person still wants to be ur friend .
And if u don't, tomorrow can be TOO LATE .

If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with u.
And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be TOO LATE.

If you still love a person that, you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him.
Maybe that person has always loved you.
And if you don't tell her/him today ,
tomorrow can be TOO LATE.

If you need a hug of a friend, ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do.
And if you don't ask for it today,
tomorrow can be TOO LATE.

If you really have friends who you appreciate.. .
tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well.
That if you don't and they leave or go far away today ,
tomorrow can be TOO LATE.

ALOT...

ALOT...

 

When someone says they love you ALOT this is what they mean by ALOT...
Alot is more then the amount of stars in the sky...
More then the amount of drops of water in the ocean...
More then the amount of lip gloss i put on in one day...
More then the amount of money on earth...
More then the number of humans on earth...
More then infinity...
You get the picture..
Alot is ALOT... it's its own quantity... So if someone loves you alot... never let them go..

Me without you is like

Me without you is like

A pot head who's not high
A plane that doesn't fly
A suicidal that doesnt die
A fat man with no boobs
A condom with no lube
A starcraft with no noobs
A hooker with no luck
A hoe that doesn't suck
A slut that doesn't f***
A shoe with no laces
A nerd without braces
Asentencewitoutspaces
A gay guy without style
S**t without a pile
A phone without a dial
A desk without a seat
Socks without feet
A heart missing its beat

Miser's Final Wish

Miser's Final Wish 
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

Unlucky Young Man (18 +)

Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Random Things That Are Useless

Random Things That Are Useless

*Ducks quacks don't echo. No one knows why.
*Hitler's mother thought about having an abortion, but was talked out of it by her doctor.
*We shed 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime.
*Like fingerprints, everyones tongueprint is different.
*Right handed people live on average 9 years longer than left handed people
*A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day
*In Singapore, it is illegal to sell or own chewing gum
*"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
*A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
*Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.
*Donald Duck was banned in Finland for a while because he doesn't wear pants.
*The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
*111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
*The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
*The manufacturing documentation for a Jumbo Jet weighs more than a Jumbo Jet.
*If electrodes are inserted at opposite ends of a pickle, and electricity is passed through, the pickle will glow.
*The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
*Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
*40% of cases a pizza will arrive sooner than an ambulance.
*Most toliets flush in E-flat.
*It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.
*The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
*In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
*A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
*The longest one-syllable word is "screeched."
*Frowning burns more calories than smiling.
*1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.
*The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.
*The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps.
*If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
*A ball of glass will bounce higher that a ball of rubber.
*Children grow faster in the spring.
*On average, a human being will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his/her lifetime.
*Mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
*A sneeze travels out of your mouth at over100 miles per hour.
*Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food.
*A "dude" is an infected hair on an elephants butt.
*The average person has a total of 6 pounds of skin.
*Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
*On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
*On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
*Red is the most commonly colored vehical involved in accidents each year.
*The swastika was origionaly a symbol of peace and honor and is still used by Buddhists today.
*Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
*Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
*In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
*American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
*The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
*Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes

"D" During The Day.. And "N" During The Night

"D" During The Day.. And "N" During The Night

 


A blonde Lady Bought a New Car From a Showroom And Could Only Drive The Car In The Day.
How much ever she Tried . She Could Never Get The Car To Move During The Night .
The Blonde finally called a Mechanic to her House at Night And Asked him To Show Her how to drive the car on the night. He Started The Car and He Drove It Perfectly. 
The Lady Was Pleased.. Then The Mechanic asked Her ." Hw do u drive at Night ? Why The Car Doesnt Move ?" She Replied , 
I Put The Gear In "D" During The Day.. And "N" During The Night 

Treatment and Prescription for who suffering from virus "WORK"

Treatment and Prescription for who suffering from virus "WORK"
By Dr. Shaikh Habil Recycle Bin

 
Medical alert about a highly dangerous virus called “Weekly Overload Recreational Killer” (WORK).

If you come in contact with this Virus, u should immediately go to the nearest “Biological Anxiety Relief” (BAR) centre to take antidotes known as
“Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract” (WINE),
“Radioactive UnWORK Medicine” (RUM),
“Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter” (BEER),
“Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen” (VODKA),
Issued in Public Interest by
“Buddies for Eradication of Work Disease Association” (BEWDA).

If Beer Had Health Warnings

If Beer Had Health Warnings

It's been proposed that warning signs be placed on beer bottles to tip off drinkers about the likely effects:




WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause people in clubs to appear better looking than they actually are. (not to mention the lighting wonders for their looks)


Courtasy: Dr. Shaikh Habil Recycle Bin

How to Keep Friendships Going When You Are Busy

The world is a busy place these days, and even when we want to have friends we may put them aside for other obligations. It happens to everyone eventually, but in order to keep friends, you have to nurture them.

Apologize and Get in Touch

If you realize you've been neglecting your friends, tell them you're sorry. Everyone can understand when life gets a little too crazy to keep up with people occasionally, and an acknowledgement that you've had a hard time juggling it all will be welcome. After apologizing, make it up to your friends by scheduling an activity that you follow through on. From that point on, be proactive in your communication with friends so they know you care. You can do that by:

• Texting a quick note to say hello.
• Suggesting a meeting for lunch.
• Sending an email to let someone know you are thinking of them.
• Posting a nice note on their Facebook wall.

Be Proactive When Contacting Friends

Often friends feel as if you are neglecting them if they need to keep reminding you to get in touch. One way to combat this is to contact your friends before they need to hound you. If necessary, put a note about it on your daily to-do list so you make sure to get it done.

Some people find that these type of quick messages can be much easier first thing in the morning when they start their day, or just before they wrap up to go home at night.  Another option is to reward yourself at the end of a long day by calling up a friend when you get home. Even if you just talk for a few minutes, nothing can energize you like some interaction with your pals.

Keep Commitments With Friends

Another thing that hurts friendships is when you agree to plans but then end up canceling later. Everyone has things come up sometimes, but if you're consistently doing this your friends will think you are insincere. To help you cancel less often:

• Write plans in your appointment book and commit to them as if they were a work meeting.
• View time spent with friends as your reward for how hard you work, rather than an interruption to your day.
• When you're with your friends, focus on them without distractions. Turn your phone off and push any thoughts of work away.

When you learn to prioritize your schedule to include your friends more often, you'll look forward to getting together and having more balance in your life.