If Beer Had Health Warnings

If Beer Had Health Warnings

It's been proposed that warning signs be placed on beer bottles to tip off drinkers about the likely effects:




WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause people in clubs to appear better looking than they actually are. (not to mention the lighting wonders for their looks)


Courtasy: Dr. Shaikh Habil Recycle Bin